Wednesday, July 6, 2016

My sister turned 30 years old just a few months ago and I will turn 40 years old in just a few days.  Crazy!  I still feel like a kid sometimes and I definitely don't have it all figured out!   But since I've walked this journey called life a decade longer, I thought I would share my insights, struggles and honesty with her.   Although she might already know some of these things, or be well on her way with doing some of them, I thought they might be a small reminder to her.  May they also be a reminder to you, you who are entering your 30s or maybe even in your 20s.  Just simple things that I've learned along the way...

1.  Take care of your body.  You only get one and after 30 it is a downhill battle.

2.  Comparison will only wreak havoc in your life.  Figure out who God has created you to be and be confident in that!  God has gifted you with unique and special gifts that you should not feel ashamed to express.
3.  Tears only make you human and more real.  Don't hold back and don't apologize for your emotions.  People who show their true self are the bravest of people.
4.  Invite people over.  Open up your home and your life to others.   Don't worry if your house is clean or not, because a friend really doesn't care if there are dishes in the sink or laundry on the couch, they just want time with you.
5.  Linger over breakfast or dinner with your spouse, foster your relationship.
6.  Women tend to run in two types of groups...exclusive or inclusive.  Exclusivity breeds insecurity, narrow mindedness and ultimately judgmental women.  Inclusivity fosters humility, acceptance and ultimately displays the love that we are called to.  Love your neighbor as yourself.  Be the one that brings women together, not tears them apart.
7. Have friends of all generations.  Seek out someone to mentor you, older women are full of insight.  Also find someone to mentor, it will keep you in tune with the generation below you.  
8.  Don't live in a bubble.  Have friends with different backgrounds, ethnicity, and cultural upbringing.   Share your life with them and engage into their world too.  
9.  A true leader shepherds their flock.  They look out for them, protect them, seek their advice and care for them.
10.  Savor simple moments with the ones you love.  Your to-do list can wait.  Live in the moment!
11.  You will get better at saying "no" to people because you have realized that you can't do it all.  
12.  Be intentional about everything...Pray, seek out God's Truth and then follow His calling.
13.  When you are struggling or going through something hard, force yourself to be quiet.  God can only speak when we are listening.
14.  When you become a mom that is only one part of who you are.   Continue to foster all of who you are
15.  It's not about quantity but rather quality.  That pretty much goes for anything.  Eat good foods and grow great friendships.
16.  Love is a verb.  Get out there and serve your heart out!
17.  You will get better at asking people for help, because you are plain old tired and can't do it all.
18.  Great, hearty food is a balm to your weary soul and to others.  Gather people often in your home to feed them.  Not only will the food satisfy their bellies but the conversations will heal your heart.  
19.  Make it a point to have frequent date nights with your husband when kids enter the picture.   
20.  Whether an introvert or extrovert, you need to carve out time to be alone.
21.  The worst thing you can do as a wife or future mother is neglect self-care.  You are not being selfish by taking care of yourself, don't believe that lie!  Find something that refreshes and rejuvenates you.
22.  Exercise is key.  Your metabolism slows down in your mid-30's.  Find something you love to do and keep on moving!
23.  Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable, pretty, and reflects just who you are.  Who cares about trends!
24.  Get really good at making 3-5 recipes.  They will be your signature dishes and people will request them!
25.  Bacon is better on pretty much everything.  Buy a good quality cut too!
26.  The more active you are, the better you will feel about your body.  A walk around the block can make you feel better emotionally, but also gets your blood pumping.
27.  Budget money for getaways every couple of months.  You don't have to go far and it doesn't have to be expensive, but it is just enough time to rest and see life with a clear perspective again.
28.  Breakfast for dinner should aways be your back-up, especially on a day that was rough.  
29.  Your biggest struggle will become your greatest ministry.  Sometimes we dread the hard, painful struggles of life, but you will be able to encourage someone else when they go through that similar struggle.  
30.  Know that you are loved, cherished, and one-of-kind --- not just by me, but by the One who knit you together in your mother's womb!  

1 comment:

  1. Those are really great Melissa. Several of them met me right where I am at. Happy Birthday Angela! 30's are so much better than 20's!