Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Living in the Rut of Comparison...Part 2

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For years and years, I was very insecure.  I found that I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others.  I was a shy girl, always wanting to be more outgoing.  I never felt confident, but always wished I was.  There were times I was frustrated and wished my life was more like one of my friends.  It’s easy to go down the road of comparisons, when you don’t feel good about yourself.  It’s a road I journeyed down way to often, until God got a hold of me.
I have been walking with the Lord for almost 20 years now, and boy has He changed me and my perspective.  When I look back at that young, right-out-of-high-school girl, I see a much different person now.  God has done some serious work on me and continues to work on different areas of my life.  I’m still a work in progress, but I’ve come a long way.
On this journey, God has exposed my weaknesses and my insecurities.  He also has changed my thinking and showed me who I am. I’m thankful for God’s Word, because it has had transforming power in my life. Over time, I learned God created me to be Melissa and no one else. That I have specific gifts and talents that God continues to develop in me. The more I began to accept who God created me to be, the more I began to let go of comparing myself to others. I began to grow confident in who I was; not trying to be someone else.
There are still things that I’m not very good at and may never be good at. They may never come naturally to me, and sometimes they are still a struggle for me; but each day I try working on them. I’ve learned to strive for progress, not perfectionism…it’s not easy for a type A personality. I’ve learned to be vulnerable and ask for help in these areas. I’ve learned that it’s ok to not be good at everything.
The more I have looked to God to guide who I am to be, the more confident I’ve become. I’ve also gotten really comfortable with my weakness and I’m not hesitant to share them. I have also realized that all I have to do is be Melissa, no one else. For the most part, I have let go of comparing myself to others and wanting to be someone I’m not. That doesn’t mean I’m not tempted to go down that path anymore. I’m tempted each and everyday.  But, when my eyes are on God, I’m able to stand firm and be confident in who God has created me to be, and I’m living outside the rut of comparison!

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